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Dirty Haiku

by Ex-Hustlers

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1.
She hates pansies she knows roses are cliche and I broke bread with her almost every single day but that was long ago and now she is gone and I'm just waiting for my very special one I'll hang tight, I'll hold on I'll hold tight and I'll hang on and when I meet her she'll say (I know it'll happen someday) "You're so sweet, you're so smart, you're so funny, honey, and you've got such heart." I've been stood up and blown off enough times to avoid something as juvenile as crime. Don't have to pull a heist or die in slo-mo. I'll just hang out and wait for her to show I'll hang tight, I'll hold on I'll hold tight and I'll hang on and when I meet her she'll say (I know it'll happen someday) "You're so sweet, you're so smart, you're so funny, honey, and you've got such heart. You're so goddamned sweet."
2.
There's no crime today, so adjust your cape, Well, don't worry you're looking great. You learned to rhyme today, you said, "Crime won't pay." And you know you're sounding great. You've got all the wrong people on the run and it's a job well done. You're ego trippin' on your cape. Your utility belt's stocked up. Just a wave and it's up, up, and away. And all the criminals are locked up leave me to save another day
3.
Plan B 03:04
After I placed the call, my hands they shook-shook for an hour. And after all this, you weren't even home. God, I hate the telephone. You said you altered the plan. It takes a god, not a man, but such haste isn't wise. It takes a long, long time. You killed the President's men and now you're waiting on them to help you sever the ties. It takes a long, long time. [Cut to the museum scene. Skip all the acts in between. And when it's strip-mine time, there's nobody there to throw you a line]
4.
"I can move things with my mind." You used to wish that all the time. But, now it seems as though a part of you were split into pieces you can't move. You used to say I was the saddest case you'd ever seen. Well, you said that, but check history And now you're facing all these foes and where your heart lies, goodness knows. 'Cause know it seems we only talk by telepathy: I don't send, you don't receive. Remember when you said I was the saddest case you'd ever seen. Well, you said that, but check history
5.
Bury Me Not 03:19
Judge me not by tiger stripes they're crudely drawn and misaligned. Bury me not by your house, I don't want to come back, anyhow. Mixed tapes and heartaches, so you typewrite all night. I've been drinking and thinking, that you'll be mine, fraulein. Spread not my ashes on your yard; seems like knowing you just made things hard.
6.
I'm drunk and I've got a time machine and I just might use it to make you, to make you fall, to make you leap, head over heels in love with me. In ancient Greece, you were a senator's niece or maybe you played Antigone. And the chorus fell right to your feet and you made the playwrights weep. Now the drinks disappear so fast. It's hard to work the controls to get back to you, to make you fall, to make you leap, head over heels in love with me. In a bygone age, you roomed with Betty Page or maybe you danced in a cage, and the meals were few and far between, and you cut a figure lean.
7.
My heart is tuned to AM with a little static in the sound. I only listen to it in the darkness, when I know you're not around. Well, I know you want me to say I'm sorry for what we lost, I'm not. Then you go and spoil another night by saying how you toil for what we've got. My filling's are picking up your thought-waves all over this town
8.
9.
Well, this is no time for your heroics, just try & stay between the lines. And if you could keep both hands on the wheel, well, that would be divine. All our hopes were pinned to this, started sketchy then the tack began to slip. Don't blame yourself, the walls were starting to split & drift. The new record doesn't sound the same. Well, a couple tracks rock, but a couple tracks are lame. And a lot of the tunes don't even get stuck in your head (or is it your brain?) All our hopes were pinned to this, started sketchy then the needle starts to skip. Don't blame yourself, the band was starting to split & drift. The new record doesn't sound the same. Well, a couple tracks rock, but a couple tracks are lame. And a lot of the songs don't even get stuck in your head (or is it your brain?) The scene has changed, don't blame yourself, but all the same, it's a matter of national health. Yet, you remain taming lions no one even cared were there before.
10.
I said your name in my sleep. She didn't think it was funny, at least not as much as you or me. I said your name into my sleeve, so I would have it there to keep. I said your name in every language that I know. Said your name in Arabic to make the silver lining glow. I said your name to help me deconstruct the alphabet. Said your name for strength to keep my cheeks from getting wet. Nothing makes for a sadder end than falling for a friend.
11.
The Heavy 05:13
Fast forward to the "I hate you" side of the tape. I'll skip the old dedications & skip the old mistakes. Well, I don't mind playing the heavy in fall from this height. I'd hit the ground first, it'd be the first time that I was right all night. I can't conceive of any comedy that can relieve the drama between two dead stars. You landed in California and I crashed into Mars, where we sing "sha-la-la-la"
12.
Hypnotized 03:55
I wanna be hypnotized, or maybe I just wanna look into your eyes, and you can teach me not to smoke too much and you can show me that there's hope to touch you. You never said you wanted to, I just thought you would. I guessed because I could. Now I'm feeling stupid, now I'm feeling strange. Nothing much has changed. I wanna be idolized, or maybe I just wanna not be despised, and you can teach me not to judge so much and you can show me how to budge when I'm close to you.
13.
I want to know, how does it feel to be loved by everyone and all-around revered? I want to know, how does it feel to know you'll never sleep alone or harbor a fear? Remember that time he made your heart hurt? You said he didn't treat you right. Well, it almost seemed trite. So, I go out and bring people home till I realize you don't care. These cupboards are bare. I can tell by your eyes and by the bumps on my skull that "you and I," we would be wonderful.

credits

released January 1, 2000

Produced by Ex-Hustlers
All Songs Written by Ex-Hustlers

recorded by Lance Workman & Kyle Sheaffer except 1, 2, 4, 11-13 recorded by James Mendenhall

David Broecker: bass & guitar on 13
James Mendenhall: Moog on 13

Layout by Curtis Hall

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about

Ex-Hustlers Portland, Oregon

Formed in Eugene, OR, in 1994 and active until 2004. During that time, the band released 2 albums and a 7" and appeared on several comps.
Members - Matt Howell, Joe Kincher, Peter Matern, Kyle Sheaffer, & Lance Workman.

"...even though it's all been done before, Dirty Haiku fucking rocks. Its grimy pop and weighty bass is satisfyingly energetic..." — Portland Mercury
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